I stare at two photos she posted over herself, unable to
tell which one is the real her, it either is – one, the happy-go-lucky gal she
most displays in the videos she posts, the other, darker, cautious, maybe even
scared, as if we have both traveled back in time to when she believe she had
every right to be, hair pinned back, head slightly turned, as if she felt the
need to be ready to run if she had to.
The brighter picture has her hair down as she smiles, both
bearing the same intense stare, eyes so deep I drown in them. I’m not sure
which one I believe though leaning towards the darker face as it face is the closest
I’ll ever get to the real her.
We live on the verge of self-annihilation And still sing songs promoting peace Or appeasement, Blaming everybody but ourselves, While whacko Jane Fondas Rant about racist climate change While basking in the lap of luxury, Never changing, Paper radicals ranting about What the rest of us ought to do While doing something else themselves We, sitting on the edge of global war, While spoiled children rant on campus About unjust life is About diversity that is not diverse, About gender designed to humiliate men About climate change that is mostly myth, While we all wait for the body bags To wash up on our shores at in time past, Not even knowing whose bodies they contain, Draft dodgers finding new ways to dodge Overweight, brain dead idiots, Waiting for the world to end so that they can say, “Told you so!” 2024 journal menu email to Al Sullivan
“Life is what happens to you when you’re busy making other plans,” says a paraphrase of a John Lennon song, who stole the saying from a poet whose name I have forgotten. This is never so true as to the events going on with the federal government these days as the new administration makes massive cuts to funding of not-for-profits and other organizations. Just when you think life is secure, when you have all your ducks in a row (as the old cliché goes), something mucks up the works (another cliché) and you end up scrambling to put your life back together, but don’t quite yet know how. Although correct in theory, the idea of reducing the work force has an unexpected impact on the people involved. People make plans; they assume they can get on with their lives securely. They believe that if they had put enough time into their careers, they will be rewarded, and perhaps get on pursuing their own interest, dreams they had since childhood for the first time poss...
My one-time best friend and co-editor of our underground literary magazine from back in the 1980s once claimed some artists do not come into their own until after the age of 40 (or 50), while others get their glory while young, often dying young or burning out later. He might have come up with this theory because he had plunged into his 30s and still had not yet made a dent in the literary world, despite betting accolades throughout his early life, teachers in elementary school singing his praises, teachers in high school claiming he would become the next great poet. Despite my skepticism, he may be right about some of it. Some people simply find happiness later in life that had eluded them when they were young. Perhaps the joy is greater for having been forced to wait for it for so long. I would not know since I’ve not achieved greatness when young or when old. I miss the struggle from back when I assumed I would achieve something, those days when I lived in a cold water...
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